WHY I BIKED 3,000 MILES FOR THE SAKE OF MENTAL HEALTH

THE RIDE OF A LIFETIME

In june of 2023, I started biking again after a couple year hiatus of biking anything relevant.  I would say i was a casual rider up until that point with my largest cycling coming from my time living in San Diego, almost a decade prior. At that point in my life, the longest bike ride i ever did was just shy of 35 miles.  i collapsed from cramping toward the end of that ride because i tried to power my way through that ride instead of grounding myself with nutrition and training.  little did i know i would push the envelope so much harder over the past year than i ever had biking in my entire life.

over the course of the past year, i completed my first 50 mile, 100 mile, 150 mile, and 200 mile day rides of my life. it all progressed rather quickly. within my first week of biking 10 mile mornings, i decided i wanted to bike my first century ride (100 miles). by midweek, i committed to biking my first century, and by the end of the week i completed my first 110 mile ride. ironically, i rode my first 100 mile ride before i did a 50 mile ride. this was not out of the norm for me as i have a very manic and obsessive personality with most everything i do in life, but this had nothing to do with the biking, and everything to do with the mental health aspects of riding. the story does not start here, you have to go back in time a ways to truly understand what put me in this position and why i pushed myself so hard over the past year to eclipse my limits. i am going to share some of the reasons why i put so many miles in on the bike, the lessons i learned along the way, and the ways in which i continue to push myself forward for the sake of mental health.

FIND YOURSELF IN HELL

Most people believe that hell is a place that is relegated to the afterlife, however, I can attest that it is a very real place that one can exist in physically, mentally, and emotionally during multiple times in their lifetime. The dark night of the soul has many different interpretations and meanings, but to me, it is bringing your darkness into the light. When the night completely consumes you and you feel like you can no longer escape that which you have been hiding from, your soul must rise in order to deal with your demons. I have been blessed enough to have two such nights in my life, the first happened at 18 on a night I was going to commit suicide and my dad walked into the basement. The second happened about a year and a half ago and it is the genesis of this blog, which I will share thoughts, examples, analogies, and anecdotes from the adventure that night spurred. The dark night of the soul is not about being buried in the ground, it is about facing the harshness of reality, in order to burn off the old portions of yourself to be reborn, and ultimately undergo a phoenix transformation. the person you were can no longer exist in order to become the person you are meant to be. There were a lot of aspects of my life that I needed to ground in discipline and routine in order to change my life drastically over a short period of time and I will try to share insights into some of them.  For anyone struggling right now, I hope this story shows you the strength that you have within you to endure, address your shortcomings, and rise from the ashes to turn your life around as I have. There is always hope with the light inside of you, if you are willing to shine it in those dark corners where the demons hide in your life.

DARK KNIGHT OF THE SOUL

It was a cold, dark, snowy night in November of 2022. I had recently come to grips with the fact that my endeavor in my nature photography business failed and the rest of my life was seemingly imploding more and more every single day. I had no job, no money, and no one around me. I had a bunch of ancillary shit going on as well that I won’t delve into, but basically this was rock bottom for me and I didn’t see a way out. I will never forget sitting in the corner of the dark room crying into my hands, feeling hopelessly helpless. I did not know how I was ever going to get out of my (then) current situation or how I was going to turn my life around. My mind went off the fucking rails like a freight train flying off the track and my thoughts went in every single direction they could. My mind replayed everything that had happened the past few years and then kept going further and further, showcasing my life over the span of a couple minutes, then one thought stopped me in my tracks… suicide.

The reason the thought of suicide pulled me out of my pity party instantly was because I had been there before. I dealt with suicidal thoughts a lot over my late teens and early 20’s due to a plethora of reasons, and in my mind, a predisposition towards mental health issues. But I hadn’t thought of suicide in well over a decade, the point at which I had started going to therapy in my late 20’s. When I was younger I probably would have entertained the idea, even if I wouldn’t have followed through with it, but at this point in my life everything was different. This was the first time I felt dissociated from my body, like I was looking at myself from 10,000 feet in the air. I realized that my mind wasn’t trying to do something that was going to protect me, it was looking for the easiest way out of my situation. I often say that the ego is like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a lot of times you will think it is trying to protect you, but in reality, it is just trying to protect itself. Once I saw what was happening at face value, I stopped ruminating in thoughts of the past and realized that I was the one that put myself in that situation. I made the decisions that landed me in that place, and I was ultimately the one that was going to have to pull myself out of it.  I have never been a fan of the victim mentality because it justifies where you are in life and doesn’t provide a path towards a better future.  I knew if I was going to change my circumstances that I needed to take accountability and blame for all of my actions and everything that happened to me, regardless of whether it was 100% my fault or not.  I like to say that this is the night the monster awoke inside of me again, that beast that I have let out at certain points in my life, and let lie dormant in others.  I have had the unique ability in my life that when all the cards are stacked against me, when I have been buried and left for dead, I rise out of the ashes to a greater plane of existence, and I could not have had more of a fire lit inside of me than that night when i faced the demons that haunted me in the darkness.

am i illiterate or did i have a meaning behind calling this section “Dark knight of the soul”? of course i had a purpose. I grew up a huge batman nerd, most certainly as a way to escape reality, but one of my favorite comics ever written was “Knightfall” in which the villain, bane, breaks batman’s back and leaves him for dead. the 3rd movie of christopher nolan’s batman trilogy, “the dark knight rises”, is loosely based upon this comic in which batman is thrown into a pit in the middle of the desert after bane breaks his back and leaves him for dead. After facing insurmountable odds, batman has to look deep inside of himself to heal himself physically and mentally, face his fears in order to get out of the pit, and finally defeat bane once and for all. this is exactly how i felt on this specific night. i knew i needed to overcome insurmountable odds in order to face my fears and create the best version of my life possible. inspirational examples that you can tie to your life, fictitious or not, always give you a higher plane of existence to strive toward. i also had the added experience of having broke my back in 2005, and watched myself come back from that hell, so i knew i could do it again. only this time around it was a hell of the mind, not the body.

FORM AN ESCAPE PLAN

i have always believed in the mind, body, and soul connection. i grew up working out but between COVID, traveling, and running my art business I had completely stopped working out for a few years. i was out of shape and felt like shit from the depression, anxiety, and stress of life, so i knew if there was one way to get things rolling in the right direction, and it was through working out. i had a gym membership that i had still been paying for over the years through 24 hour fitness that i remembered so i decided that very night that i was going to start going to the gym 6 days a week, and do a half hour of weight lifting, and an hour of cardio. i have hated cardio my entire life so i knew by doing something hard that i didn’t enjoy, it would help me grow in a positive direction. most of my cardio consisted of walking at an incline but it was still enough to push me and get me to lose some weight, in fact, i lost 20 pounds over a 6 month period in going back to the gym which obviously made me feel infinitely better.

next came the mind, during my cardio workouts and in my free time i started listening, reading, and writing as much as i could. i listened to motivational speeches, inspirational examples, and philosophies on life in every attempt to give me something to stride towards. i started reading about every self improvement and psychology subject that i could, especially those subjects surrounding attachment, emotional regulation, and body dysregulation.  i also started writing all my goals down and articulating myself in different ways to continually process the ways i was thinking and the direction i was going in life. i became very big on manifestation during this time and i had the goal of turning my entire life around in 6 months, something that i accomplished.

FROZEN IN THE DARKNESS

the 6 months that it took for me to turn my life around were fairly mundane and boring. i picked up a bar tending job at a brewery south of Denver that is now defunct.  i had a very small circle of friends and family that i surrounded myself with, and by and large, i never told anyone how bad everything truly was in my life. i focused on the day in, day out of working out, going to work, focusing on my self improvement, and in my free days, going into the wilderness to find myself again. ironically, this was in the heart of winter, somewhere that i had always loved, but this was the hardest winter of my life and it pushed me into the frozen darkness more than it ever had in my life.

i started doing the longest and hardest hikes of my life that winter. i pushed myself towards 20 mile winter hikes, snowshoes through treacherous terrain, and pushed through 70 mile per hour winds over ice and snow for some of my outdoor adventures. i found ice formations in the winter to shoot for the first time and i really found a way to embrace the darkness during those times. there is a funny thing about pushing yourself to your limits, you always find so much more within yourself than you ever imagined. hiking in the woods, disconnected from the world and people, stuck in a place where all you can do is think, is where you can find your white space to completely process your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. if you are willing to look inside, face your demons, fears, and insecurities, you can process a lot of emotional pain and trauma you never wanted to face.  carl jung had a famous quote in reference to this, “what you most want to find will be where you least want to look”.

i had an enormous amount of emotional pain and trauma that started coming to the surface during this time. in particular, a ton over the past few years, but the deeper i dug into that, the more i realized a lot stemmed back to my childhood as well. i knew that if i truly wanted to help others then i needed to address my own issues that i had first. i had the joy of finally seeing jordan peterson speak a couple of months ago and he said something that has stuck with me ever since and goes back to looking inside of yourself. he said “if you have a truth to say, and you don’t say it, you are making the world a worse place”. this is remarkably true in the sense that as we get older, more and more starts happening to us, and instead of addressing the issue, we just layer more shit on top of it to mask it. we have tons of dis empowering ways of distracting ourself whether thats food, sex, drinking, social media, relationships, the list goes on and on. but to live in blissful ignorance, or willful blindness, will only lead us to conscious delusion, and that is a hell you can find yourself in that you don’t want to be in. we try to hide so many things from ourselves in the shadows, but it is only when we bring our light to those dark corners that we can truly heal to become the best versions of ourselves and let our souls shine as bright as day for the world around us.

i took the photo of this section of the rock frozen under the ice during a time when i was right in the thick of all the shit and during my phoenix transformation. my buddy Matt, a fellow nature photographer, came out from Florida to shoot with me after he saw some of my ice photos.  i shot this as we were walking over a frozen lake on the way through our snowshoe adventure. this photo would become symbolic of my life and it helped me develop a saying within myself that propelled me to a whole different level. i started a saying to myself, “do you want to see where monsters are made, bury me in hell (or frozen in ice), and watch me dig my way out”. there’s a side of me that no one ever gets to see and it’s where the hard headed, stubborn, angry monster lives inside of me. it burns dark matter to create light and it is an endless source of energy for me. i decided years ago that no matter what i go through, i will never stop living with a soft heart and a gentle soul. but you also always have to have the ability to be stern and protect yourself from the people that are willingly wanting to take advantage of you. there is a biblical saying “blessed are those who have swords and know how to use them, but keep them sheathed; for they shall inherit the earth”.  i loved the process of going through hell while not letting most people or the world around me know any of it, it’s what helped propel me back to the top in record fashion.

A NEW REALITY

within a couple of months of this 6 month time frame, my old job as a regional sales manager in the beer industry opened up again after the person that replaced me left. i started interviewing for a couple of months and right around the 6 month mark of going through hell, i got my old role back. this helped establish a very good baseline for me, and talking to my mom about everything later she equated my story to the story of Jonah and the whale from the bible. i was very grateful to be back in a good place but i still felt like i had so much more to do processing everything i had been through and all the emotional pain and trauma that had been plaguing me. it was the start of summer for me at this point, which is typically a heavy season of hiking and storm chasing, but i knew i wanted to push myself in a new way that was challenging, yet rewarding as well.

i decided i wanted to get into the best shape of my life physically, mentally, and emotionally as well at this point. i pulled out my $300 Walmart road bike that i had purchased a few years prior but had barley even ridden at that point. it was called the “vilano”, and it was a heavy bike that really is not ideal for riding long distances. i started out biking my neighborhood 10 miles every morning, but it already felt like i wasn’t pushing myself hard enough.  i remembered saying to myself in my 20’s that i wanted to do a century ride one day and that thought instantly popped into my head on a ride that first week back.  i knew in my mind that i was going to accomplish this even though a few people i mentioned it to said i would never do it because my body wasn’t made for biking.

there is a book that i read years ago called “can’t hurt me” that inspired me beyond belief. The author, David Goggins, is an ex navy seal that grew up with a painful childhood but harnessed that pain to become a great endurance runner and an inspirational example of pushing the human body and mind to its limits.  he also broke the pull up record in 2013 by doing 4,025 pull ups over a 24 hour period.  the best part of David goggins’ achievements is that he was doing all of this for the mental and psychological aspects of it, along with the processing of pain and trauma, not for the physicality aspect.  i related to this instantly years ago, but i never had the desire to run, so it took me a few years to put this into place, but i decided that i was going to apply this philosophy to biking.

my first century ride (110 miles) on june 25th, 2023

START PEDALING

my first 100 mile ride went relatively well in june of 2023. i biked up to fort collins from Westminster, co which was pretty close to 50 miles each way. it took about 4 hours each way which gave me plenty of time to get into that dark space and think about everything mentally and emotionally that i desired to be in. biking long distance has fewer distractions for me since i am not trying to shoot photography like i am in the wilderness either. the hard part is that eventually all the little aches and pains start adding up and it really pushes you into that dark space even more, which you need to get through the ride in the first place. my iliotibial band, or it band, (which runs down the side of your knee) started burning about 80 miles in, which caused excruciating pain for the last 30 miles of the 110 mile ride.  I also learned the hard way that i needed to keep alternating the position of my hands on these rides.  i was pushing down on my hands so hard that my arms were going numb and it resulted in my thumbs twitching incessantly for the next week after this ride.  the joy of these long rides is not when things are going well, it’s when the pain really kicks in and you have to do everything you can mentally to not quit, even through the pain and exhaustion.  i fell in love with this head space and right when i got home, after one of the most exhausting days of my life, i knew i wanted to push my limits to a 150 mile ride.

i immediately asked my buddy Gerard if he would do a 150 mile bike ride with me. he was the only friend i had that was crazy enough to say yes, which he did without hesitation, even at his age of 49. Gerard is a huge mountain biker and at that point had put in way more miles on the bike than i ever had, so i was not even remotely worried that he couldn’t do it. it was going to take me a few more months of training and getting my it band into shape for this ride but, by and large, i felt pretty good about it. We agreed on a date in august of 2023 and set course from Westminster to fort collins and back, with a few more miles thrown in between.

the 150 miler had way more hiccups than i was used to on a ride. the first 70 miles were relatively smooth as we rode out at sunrise from Westminster to meet up with some friends and family at Odell Brewing in Fort Collins. We were about 5 miles away from the brewery when Gerard pulled in front of me from my side and took out my front tire. i swerved a couple of times and tried to save it but i ended up going down hand to knee to shoulder to head right on the side of the road. thankfully, there were no cars around, but it hurt like a son of a bitch. i also would come to realize later that i tore some cartilage in my rib cage on that fall. the injury took forever to heal and was one of the most painful injuries i have ever had in my life. the rest of the ride was painful with the injuries that i had sustained, but just like before, i would learn to push through the pain and go into that dark space to make it through. the fall also resulted in a front tire that fell out of balance and a rear tire that completely shredded at the seam. after hanging out with our friends and family for a few hours we went over to a bike shop nearby to get those fixed. when we were in the bike shop the owner looked at me and said “i cannot believe you are riding 150 miles on that (piece of shit) bike, now that is impressive”. little did i know how terrible this bike was until an upgrade later on.

right after i fell around 70 miles into our 150 mile ride on august 19th, 2023

the rest of the ride went about as good as the first part after that. we ended up having to ride through two thunderstorms, the first of which had lightning striking way too close for comfort. the second storm hit us right when we were close to the 150 mile mark but grounded us back at my place for a half hour. we rode out the last couple of miles before midnight. the bike ride was tough, especially with all of the setbacks, but immediately i started thinking that i had not pushed myself to the limit.

that night, a thought consumed me in my sleep, and that was that i wasn’t finished yet. i felt like i had pushed myself to the limit, but i wasn’t broken and i felt like i processed a lot of great thoughts, emotions, and feelings on that ride. i wanted to push myself to a 200 mile ride. that very next day, i invited Gerard to the bar and asked him if he would do a 200 miler with me, he agreed again without hesitation. i knew this one was really going to push our limits so an even more intense training regimen was going to be needed. i was also going to climb mount Whitney again for the 3rd year in a row, which is a 22 mile day hike in September of 2023, so that was going to take a lot of my training time away. we were going to push for the time frame around october or early november to do the 200 mile ride, but due to the cold weather coming in, and my rib cartilage injury being much worse than i imagined, we would have to push it out over to the next year.

my $300 vilano also started to eat complete shit around this time, i pushed that bike to its limits around 1,200 miles total and it just fell apart. i got 4 flats in a span of two months and i could not get it to work. i started doing the stationary bike through the winter where i could still put on a lot of miles through the winter months. i had a goal set of 1,500 miles for the new year but i realized very quickly that i was going to crush it, so i pushed it to 2,000 miles. i was going crazy not having a bike so instead of looking at buying a nice one, i bought another $150 bike from walmart thinking that this one could push through just like the last one. i took it out of the box, put it together, and went on my first ride… i am not kidding when i say the chain snapped within 5 pedals and completely fell apart in the parking lot. as they say, you get what you pay for.

my dad is always looking out for my crazy adventures and he mentioned he had bought a trek road bike that was way too much bike for him and he offered it to me as a gift. this is by far one of the biggest blessings i had received on this journey. he shipped it to me in April and it is by far the nicest bike that i have ever ridden or owned. we are about the same height so the bike worked perfectly from that aspect, but the seat was so brutally uncomfortable that i needed to swap it out. i took some bad advice from a bike shop attendant and bought a seat that was way too hard for my butt. i immediately started dealing with excruciating sciatic nerve and numbness issues, something that felt very similar to when i broke my back at 19 years old. i tried doing a few longer rides and fighting through the pain but i started maxing out around 25 miles because i couldn’t make it through without half of my body going numb. after about a month of trying to make the seat work i went back and found one that actually sat right for me and it helped alleviate a lot of the numbness and nerve pain that i was dealing with. i still had some sciatic nerve issues the day we went for our 200 mile ride, but by and large, it was manageable and something that i could fight through.

we were shooting for a day in june for the 200 mile ride since it has the longest days of the year and we would also be in our prime from all the training. i started biking on june 21st of last year to start this journey and i wanted to go a full year with seeing how far i could push myself physically, mentally, and emotionally for this adventure. as we got into may i realized that i could hit 3,000 miles over that year span if i pushed myself hard enough the last couple of months. i got that idea in my head and pushed like i never had in my training. i managed to bike 598 miles from may into our ride on june 19th which put me at 2,800 miles exactly going into our 200 mile ride. we watched the weather everyday and decided that june 19th was our best chance to miss thunderstorms and the extreme heat we had been dealing with in Colorado, so we set our course for that day and put our plan into action.

THE FINAL RIDE… OR IS IT?

the hardest part of doing the 200 mile ride to start is knowing that you will be in the saddle for over half the day. i was estimating a ride time around 16 hours, which if you have ever sat in a seat for that long, you know it is uncomfortable, painful, and miserable at times. we needed to start early so it was a 3:30AM wake up call for a 4:30 ride.  I was running off of 2 hours of sleep, and i freely admit taking the time to shoot the sunset the night before (which is the picture for this section), did not help my need for sleep.  We biked from Westminster to Littleton, over to highlands ranch, back to Westminster, then off to fort collins and back to Westminster. the second half of the ride we had done before so there was a familiarity on that end. the first 100 miles were not bad at all. we both felt really good but then the wind started picking up and all those little aches and pains started. by the time we got up to Fort Collins for our stop at Odell Brewing we were about 143 miles in. my Achilles, it band, and knee were all throbbing in pain. i knew we were going to have to push hard to make it back home and we did. the pain intensified as the ride went on and my Achilles felt like it was going to rip off the bone at any point. we finally made it out about 5 miles from home when the rain started pouring on us. it was ironic and funny, but made getting home that much worse. we finally made it home around 2AM which ended up only being about 15 hours in the saddle, about 21 hours total from start to finish. I laid on the couch and we had a beer to celebrate before we went our separate ways and i went to bed.  i was so stoked on the fact that i set the goal to do a 200 miler and we did it and i simultaneously hit 3,000 miles in a year at the same time that night.  i only got about 4 hours of sleep that night since i had to work the next day, but there was that thought that came back again that night. I didn’t push myself to my absolute limit, and now the idea of a 250 mile ride is consuming my thoughts constantly.  

THE LESSONS OF LIFE

i learned so much over the past year biking 3,000 miles about life, loss, pain, perseverance, strength, mental toughness, and so much more than i can ever express. you don’t have to bike as much as i did to process your emotional pain and trauma, but you can push yourself to your limits in anything that you do. when i found myself in that space of contemplating suicide again a year and a half ago, it shook me to my core, not because of the idea, but because i knew that i had way too much to still accomplish in life and too many lives to touch to ever seriously contemplate suicide again. i have learned to live with passion, purpose, and meaning every single day and the lives that i am able to touch through that means so much more than i can ever say. people know me for my photography and art, but they don’t realize how hard i have had to push myself in virtually every other dimension of my life to continue to evolve and produce art that comes from my soul at my greatest level. much of my art has come from that deep, dark place that resides within me, in which i have to constantly shine my light to drive out the darkness of my demons. getting to a place where you can even talk about depression, anxiety, and suicide contemplation is unbearably tough, but i have a responsibility to be able to do that because i have been blessed with so many gifts. it is through the grace of god that i am still alive on this earth, and even more so, that i have been given so many gifts to give back to the world. I will not say that i handled my situation in the best way for everyone, but i handled it in the best way for myself. i knew what i needed to do to get my life back in order and put it in a positive direction again. i would not trade a day of my life for the world because it has made me who i am and has allowed me to touch lives in the most unique way due to that. embrace your struggles, your pains, your darkness, and bring your light to them. you have such a beautiful life and story if you are willing to look deep within yourself and find your light to shine on this earth. please know that you are loved, you have so many gifts to bring to the earth, and there are people that depend on you more than you know. thank you for reading my story and being a part of my journey on this wonderful adventure called life. i hope this helps bring light to a few lives on this earth.

Cheers,

Jeremy Janus

*if you or someone you know is in immediate need of help with suicide, you can dial 988 for 24/7 free and confidential support for people in distress and crisis resources for your loved ones.*

My First Solo Backpacking Adventure... The Untold Story

At the base of Mooney Falls

While i have shared a lot of stories and experiences freely, there is one adventure from 2015 that I have never shared. This story was 7 years in the making as i went on this adventure at the ripe old age of 29. I still had not started photography at this point in my life (all the pictures are cell phone pics), so by and large this was all about the adventure. This was the final week of 2015 and I wanted to take a big trip to focus on myself, hyper-analyze my life, and where I was headed in it. I was living in San Diego at the time and i was running out of big mountains to climb in the area, so i needed to up the ante for myself.

i truly believe i have the best birthday in the world in relation to myself. i was born on January 1st, so the most meaningful week of the year to me is the week prior to new years day. the chaos of Christmas has settled down and it offers the perfect time to reflect on the year that was introspectively and compile plans to grow and evolve my life going into the new year. January also happens to be named after the roman god Janus, who is the god of new beginnings and transitions, for which new years is perfect for. sharing my last name with this god is more than coincidence for me, i truly believe my life is grounded in continual transformation and becoming the greatest version of myself constantly.

I started doing a ton of research on places that i could drive to from San Diego. I settled on Arizona when i found havasu falls, which is also known on havasupai falls since it is on the havasupai reservation. this was much before havasu falls ever became famous on Instagram so even though i was late to the game in planning this adventure, i was able to make it happen. i had to call ahead to book a 2 night permit since the reservation does not allow day hikes due to the strenuous nature of the hike. i had to call for hours to get a hold of someone to book the permits which at the time it was $30 a night (They’re over $100 a night now due to the popularity). since most people have no desire to camp in the middle of winter, i had no problem obtaining permits.

I had no idea what i was doing when i started planning my pack for overnight camping. I knew a lot about day hiking preparation but this was a totally different experience planning for a multiple night backpacking trip. I was googling a ton of information but by and large I was winging it and trying to figure it out on my own. I put the best pack I could together and my resulting equipment list ended up looking something like this:

• 50 Liter backpack

• 2 person tent

• Hiking poles

• 100 ounce water pack

• Water filtration kit

• First aid kit

• Sunscreen

• journal

• headlamp

• flashlights

• Multiple layers, jacket, and pants

• 20 degree sleeping bag

• Sleeping pad

• Multiple knives

• Paracord bracelets

• Ready to eat meals

• Granola bars

• Propane stove Burner

• Propane

• Instant coffee

• scent blocking odor bags

• Lighter, matches, and fire starter

• Backpacking pots, silverware, and mugs

My backpacking gear

There’s a lot that I do differently on backpacking trips now but this was actually a really good starting point. This all weighed about 50 pounds since I didn’t take weight into consideration with my gear. Since I wasn’t used to the weight, this would also lead to my first hip flexor injury on the way out of the canyon which made it absolute hell for the last couple miles.

HAVASU FALLS IS A TEN MILE HIKE (EACH WAY) AND A COUPLE THOUSAND FEET OF ELEVATION GAIN FROM THE FALLS BACK TO THE TRAILHEAD. THE HIKE IS NEARLY STRAIGHT DOWN INTO THE CANYON WHICH MAKES IT SEEM EASY ON THE WAY IN, BUT AFTER HIKING AROUND DOWN THE CANYON, IT IS A BEAST TO GET BACK OUT DUE TO THE STRENUOUS LAST FEW MILES UP HILL. THERE IS ALSO A LOWER FALL CALLED MOONEY FALLS WHICH ADDS ANOTHER COUPLE HUNDRED FEET OF ELEVATION GAIN AND ANOTHER MILE WHICH I DID AS WELL.

I headed out from san diego on December 28th, 2015 and drove all through the night to get to the parking lot of Havasu Falls. The road was covered in snow and ice as I got closer to the trailhead which made me anxious driving. I also almost hit a cow since the land surrounding the falls is free range which added to the anxiety of driving in the black of night. By the time I parked, it was after midnight but I was starving so I tried to make a meal… and then realized i forgot my matches and lighter at home for the propane burner. I knew there was a convenience store down in the canyon so I knew I could pick those up, but i went to bed hungry. overnight the temperatures dropped down to about 20 degrees which woke me up since i was shivering trying to sleep.

i headed down into the canyon first thing in the morning and i felt like this was already a whole new experience for me. i was so excited and there was no one on trail with me. the sandstone mountains lined both sides of the trail and there were some wild horses that started showing up as i got further into the canyon. eventually there would be some tribe members riding donkeys with supplies into the canyon since that is how they get them down there.

Wild horses in the canyon

THe weather was chilly and it was cool in the canyon with all the shadows the canyon was throwing. this continued on for a few miles until i got my first glimpse of the turquoise blue waters of havasupai. the blue was very faint at first but it made me so excited for what was to come.

I eventually made it to the village of supai and managed to buy the lighter and matches i had forgotten at home AT THE GENERAL STORE. THERE WAS A HELICOPTER FLYING IN FROM A TOUR GROUP WHICH WAS PRETTY COOL TO SEE IN PERSON SINCE THIS WAS THE CLOSEST I HAD EVER BEEN TO ONE. i went a little further and finally headed past the lodge, WHICH i knew MEANT i was getting close to the falls.

Helicopter coming into Supai

Navajo Falls was the first waterfall i came across. it was so amazing seeing the lights and shadows of the canyon, with the water flowing into the turquoise blue waters of the river. it literally looked like a scene straight out of a movie. this was the moment i had an extreme gratitude hit me from all the planning and execution of visiting such a majestic place.

Navajo Falls

I finally made it to havasu falls and i was so ecstatic. the waterfall was one of the most beautiful i had ever seen up to that point in my life and the water was absolutely mesmerizing. there were people wading in the water down below and flanking the ridge i was on to take pictures of the falls and it was so cool to see so many people just taking in the beauty of this waterfall.

When i first started this trip i had the attitude that I was going to keep to myself and think completely introspectively the entire time. i was totally wrong in that mindset. just after this photo, i started meeting the nicest people from all over the world and had amazing conversations with so many of them. a lot of people knew i was on my own so it made it that much easier to strike up conversations with them. i even met a couple that got engaged right before they met me in the water of havasu falls which was a really cool experience to share with them.

Havasu Falls

Havasu Falls

after i enjoyed havasu falls for a while i headed to find a campsite. i wanted to be as far away from people and as isolated as i could so i found a spot that nestled up near a mountain wall surrounded by brush. i had to cross a makeshift ladder to get across the water to set up my campsite. I literally had no one around me, no one could even hear me scream (which would be a problem later). i set up my campsite and ate some food before i headed down to Mooney falls which was only another half mile down the trail.

The ladder to get to my campsite

My campsite

Mooney Falls was probably my favorite part of this entire experience. the falls are named after D.W. James “Mooney” who was a miner and fell to his death at the falls in 1882. getting to the falls was an adventure in itself. you have to climb down through a cave where the exposed area of rock unveils Mooney Falls to you for the first time. You then have to climb down some chains and a sketchy ass ladder to get to the base of Mooney Falls. this is the point where many people turned around.

personally i loved this experience. the mist of the water was flying off the waterfall as it hit the ground and it sent it toward you as you climbed down the chains. the rust from the water on the chains could be felt on your hand and smelled in the air. the chains were super slippery as was the wood you felt sliding underneath you as you climbed down the ladder. the view at the bottom was amazing and completely awe inspiring. I met some awesome people at the bottom that took my picture after they coerced me into it for which i was grateful. i took theirs as well and one of my favorite parts of these trips is taking pictures for people to cherish for a lifetime.

The cave leading to Mooney Falls

The ladder down to Mooney Falls

Looking out to Mooney Falls

Mooney Falls

after Mooney Falls I headed back up and did a few more miles hitting havasu falls and Navajo Falls again. it was great taking time at both of these and just taking in more of the experience. i loved the isolation i was able to experience while still being able to meet so many great people. i went back to the campsite, ate again, and wrote in my journal. i wanted to remember this experience forever (even though i have no idea where the journal is now).

i laid down shortly after this in the 20 degree weather or so with the tent open so that i could stare at the stars as i had never seen anything quite like them. it was pitch black in the camping area which made the sky that much brighter and i said some prayers afterward being so thankful for an experience i could have only imagined in my head. i zipped up the tent and was ready for the most peaceful night of sleep i have ever had in my life… or so i thought.

i was laying asleep for about a half hour, that point of sleep where you feel like you’re half awake and half asleep. all of a sudden i heard some sniffing on the outside of the tent, it reminded me of a dog trying to get some food. about 10 seconds later i heard a huge rip in the tent and felt something hit my beanie since my head was right next to the area that got ripped open. i shot up and grabbed my flashlight. i was only in shorts so i was freezing my ass off instantly trying to figure out what the fuck was happening.

i sat in the tent for a minute looking around everywhere until i saw where the rip was in the side of the tent. i put on all my clothes and grabbed my knives, headlamp, and flashlights before i dared to get out of the tent. i opened up the tent slowly to look around. i was looking everywhere around the river, ready to jump in if some crazy shit went down. i went and looked at the rip which ended up being about the size of my hand. i couldn’t figure out what did this and then i pointed the flashlight towards the brush at the mountain and saw instantly where the hole in the tent came from.

The tear in my tent

there were 4 sets of eyes staring right at me. they all kept moving around in the brush back and forth seeming to get more aggressive towards the edge of the brush. i started yelling and grabbed my knives to start clanking them together but this did nothing but pissed off whatever was in the bushes. i said “fuck this” after about 5 minutes, grabbed everything in my tent, threw it in the bag, and booked it over the ladder across the river. i didn’t know what i was going to do but i remembered a compost bathroom that was at the start of the campground so i booked it toward that.

as i ran through the forest i felt like i was in the making of the blair witch project. everywhere i passed i saw eyes all around the forest, near other tents, just lurking in the darkness. i kept trying to keep my mind from going to the dark places but it was pretty hard. i finally made it to the compost toilet, ran in, and slammed the door shut behind me. my heart was racing and the waft of shit instantly hit my nose. i did not know how but i was prepared to sleep right next to the shitter that night. i looked over and there was a utility closet that had the door open slightly. i opened it and saw there was enough room for me to throw my sleeping bag down and sleep in there.

the utility closet was far from the ideal resting place. the top area was open air so the 20 degree chill was seeping in the entire night. i had to sleep on my left side because whenever i rolled over to the right the smell of shit became so intense it would wake me right up. needless to say, i did not sleep well all night thinking about the rabid animals that attacked my tent. i woke up at the ass crack of dawn in order to walk out of the toilet with my dignity in tact, hoping no one would see my walking out with my bag and sleeping bag.

The compost toilet

The utility closet

I went back to my campsite in the morning to assess everything and saw no sign any wildlife in the morning. i packed up my tent as fast as i could before heading back out of the canyon. i made it through the night of hell on my first solo backpacking trip and i could not be more ecstatic. my personal feeling on the animals was that it was a small pack of raccoons which have a tendency to be aggressive, especially around food. it would also explain why i saw them through the forest and around other tents as well.

as i headed back out of the canyon that morning all i could do was live in gratitude for my experience and having made it out alive. i met amazing people, conceptualized the year that was, and made new plans to change my life. i had never hiked 20 miles over 2 days backpacking before which was an new experience for me.

Donkeys carrying supplies into Supai

about 6 miles into the hike back out of the canyon my hip flexor started feeling terrible. it made it super hard to stay concentrated on the beauty around me as i focused more and more on the excruciating pain i was feeling. the last few miles were hell as it was all uphill but that is the hardest part of backpacking trips, the nagging injuries will definitely pull you down. i made it through with the help of some other backpackers that were struggling as well.

i hope this story inspires you to get out and have your own adventures. i did not grow up in the wilderness, i have had to learn, grow, and teach myself everything i have done over the years. i am not special, i just have a drive and passion for the outdoors that keeps me pushing forward. you can accomplish anything you want to in life if you have the right mindset, preparation, and tenacity to get it done. i wish you nothing but the best in 2023, even if that’s sleeping next to a shitter so you don’t die at the hands of rabid raccoons!

Cheers,

Jeremy Janus

The end of my first solo backpacking trip

5 Books That Changed My Life Forever

I have read a LOT in my lifetime. I have always loved and have been interested in self help, psychology, and business books. These have always helped me grow and develop both personally and professionally. Over the years I have read some books that have fundamentally changed the way I think and act in my life and I wanted to take some time to share a few of those books and the reasons why they changed my life. Here are the 5 books that have fundamentally changed my life forever.

Disclaimer: As a member of THE AMAZON ASSOCIATES affiliate program, adobe creative suite affiliate program, and topaz labs affiliate program I may earn a small commission on qualifying purchases made using the BELOW links.

“Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action”

When I was first starting in nature photography I read this book and it changed my life forever. This book surrounds business and has amazing stories of success and failures surrounding companies that know their how but not their “why”. I applied the lessons in this book to “why” I started in nature photography, eventually started my business, and how I continue to operate moving forward. I wanted to use my pain and suffering that I experienced with depression, anxiety, and suicide contemplation to inspire the world around me. This is the reason I am so open to sharing my story and my experiences with everyone I encounter. Simon Sinek is an amazing and inspiring individual and if you don’t know your “why”, this book will help you in the search for it.

Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action

By Sinek, Simon

Buy on Amazon

“Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain

Quiet was a book that fundamentally changed my self awareness. I went to a Tony Robbins concert right before I read this book and it made everything make sense. I actually struggled deeply with all the extroverted aspects of the concert and I could not figure out why until I read the excerpt that Susan wrote on her experience which mirrored mine almost to a tee. We are so used to living in a world that celebrates extrovertism that introvertism is downplayed in a lot of ways. This book touches on introvertism and ambivertism (extroverted introvert, which is what I am). This book really made me examine my entire life, including my childhood, and helped to explain a lot of the aspects of my life I didn’t understand prior to reading this book. I highly recommend this book to figure out your personality traits towards extroverism and introvertism and fully embrace the beauty of your personality!

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

By Cain, Susan

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“Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds” by David Goggins

I have always been drawn to stories of people that became successful despite every having the deck stacked against them from the start. David Goggins had a horrible childhood and he talks about the struggles he had to endure with an abusive father and the ordeals he had to overcome from being subjected to this. He went from not even being able to run a couple miles to finishing 100 mile races and obtaining the world record for pull-ups. This book shows that with determination, effort, and will we can literally accomplish anything we put our minds to. David Goggins is an extreme version of drive but that’s what makes this book so alluring, you don’t need to be David Goggins to accomplish amazing feats, you just have to push yourself to your limits mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds

By Goggins, David

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“Halftime: Moving From Success to Significance” by Bob Buford

Halftime is the book that made me want to take the leap in moving from a corporate gig to running my own business. Bob Buford talks about the first half of your life and how it should be spent trying to climb the ladder as high as you can and building as much success as you can in your life. That is followed by the second half of your life which should be spent giving back and teaching others which is a different form of success. He contends that each decade should be more significant than the sum of all of your previous decades because you are giving back and touching the world around you that much more as your life progresses. I could not agree with this more. This also gives you hope and faith that just because you’re getting older does not mean that your life is becoming worse or less significant than it had been. This is a life changing book for faith, purpose, passion, and meaning.

Halftime: Moving from Success to Significance

By Buford, Bob P.

Buy on Amazon

“12 Rules For Life: An Antidote to Chaos” by Jordan B. Peterson

12 Rules For Life is my favorite book that I have ever read. Jordan Peterson uses great anecdotes and stories to convey his thoughts with the main underlying theme that life is suffering, marred by malevolence and nihilism. He contends that the way we combat this is through purpose and meaning. I have seen this played out in my life completely which is why I love this book so much. He also talks about the yin and yang of life: order and chaos. He reiterates this throughout the book and states that putting order on the chaos is the only way to move toward meaning and purpose. This book is extremely dense as Jordan Peterson is one of the most articulate and complex thinkers that I ever read. I try to keep my reading of this book to about 25 pages at a time to help absorb the content. This book has changed my life in more ways than I can ever say and I hope it does the same for you!

12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos

By Peterson, Jordan B.

Buy on Amazon

That’s my list of the 5 best books that have changed my life! I hope you seek these books out and they can help you in many ways as well! Feel free to drop some comments on your thoughts below!

Cheers,
Jeremy Janus

Lessons Learned From Life On the Road

April 12, 2022

The pursuit of dreams is not for the faint of heart. It takes so much passion, desire, and endurance to bring a dream to reality. When I upended my life and headed to Florida to chase my photography dreams, I had a lot of per-conceived notions about where my life was headed and the direction everything would go in when I left Colorado. Little did I know a lot of those visions would be shattered and replaced with so many more important life lessons and experiences that I could have never imagined. I cannot express my gratitude for the journey that I was able to go on during my time in Florida. Here are some of the best lessons I learned during my time on the road.

Money Is Not Everything

When I started my journey east, I had everything someone could seemingly want in their career. A great salary, a line for another promotion, travel, an expense budget, the works. And yet I was so devoid on the inside because I was no longer doing what I loved in life. Don’t get me wrong, at one point I loved my day job, but as time went on, my passion and love for it subsided. I finally realized that the money I was making was coming at the cost of my soul, and the further and further I went, the more devoid I was feeling inside. We all need money to survive, but I lived on so much less the past few months and I can freely admit that I feel like a different human being with the amount of stress that has left my body from only focusing on my photography and not doing a job I no longer loved.

Planning Helps a Ton, But Be Willing to Adapt

I will be honest, I hate planning- I always have and it’s probably why I am like chaos to most people’s lives! I will admit though, I planned a LOT for this trip. I began the planning process back in September and it helped a ton with the journey. Not everything went according to plan though and where I thrive is in the chaos so I loved being able to adapt on the fly. Plan for the best, expect the worst, and enjoy the hell out of the randomness of life, it is one of the great joys of the journey!

You Have a Way Larger Community Than You Think

One of my favorite aspects of this journey was that I never knew who I would see week to week. I kept my website up to date and shared where I was going to show constantly on social media. By sharing more, I kept seeing more people that I never expected to! Family, friends, old acquaintances- I welcomed all that came to see me and the hospitality that everyone showed me was so unbelievable. The journey towards your dreams can be a lonely one at times, but it doesn’t always have to. Accept the help when others are willing to give it and welcome all experiences, they may just change your life!

You Do Not Have to Be a Lone Wolf

Growing up I was so enamored with the people that I felt hit these pinnacles of success by their lonesome, and now more than ever that’s what people think happens thanks to social media. I cannot express that I could not have made any of this journey happen without the enormous community that I have behind me. People were willing to help me around every single corner and I could not be more grateful for it. Everyone loves feeling like they are a part of something bigger, and they truly are. I would not be where I am today without the people and experiences that I have had in my life and being able to see that over this journey was deeply meaningful.

Don’t Lose Sight of Why You’re Here

This is a saying that multiple people told me at different times on this journey. One of the hard parts when you are first starting out on your own is being consumed with where the money is going to come from. I kept worrying about this for a while and then I got back to focusing on the creation and making my business better every single day. It all worked out in the end and at the end of the day you can always go back and get another job. If you lose sight of why you’re doing what you’re doing you will get lost along the way. Once I put things in perspective again, I had better experiences (and better sales) to help the world around me, and I took the best photos I could have imagined during my time in Florida.

People Are Willing to Help More Than You Know

Be a good person! It’s how I try to live my life and how I treat the world around me. Thanks to this philosophy, I had a number of other artists be so willing to help me along the way. I cannot even come close to expressing my gratitude for other artists because without them I probably would have failed in this process. Help other people the way others have helped you, and be willing to eat your ego and listen to what other successful people around you have done before.

You Only Have One Life to Live

This saying seems so trite and I am guilty of saying it over the years too. I never actually felt it until this trip however. I realized all of the time that I had wasted on meaningless shit and now see that I can never get that back. I don’t live in regret but there are a lot of things I wish I had done differently on the way. I know that I am in the best possible place with the life that I have left and I am going to consciously avoid wasting it from here on out. Live life with purpose and meaning, love deeply and tell the people in your life you love them, and make the world around you into a better place with everything that you do. You only have one life, so stop putting your dreams off until tomorrow and go chase them!

Cheers,

Jeremy Janus

How Would You Live Your Life if You Knew You Were Going to Die?

April 5, 2019

How would you live your life if you knew you were going to die? This is a question that has been plaguing and intersecting my life for the last few years. I have dealt with a lot of death over the past four years in my life including two aunts, an uncle, a great friend, and three dogs. Death is inherently a part of life as we get older, and while the pain does not get easier as you go through these experiences, conceptualizing and processing the meaning of the people that you have had in your life becomes more transparent.

The meaning of life is not easily discernable, and the specificity of this fact is different for everyone. What is important and fulfilling to myself, you, and the people around us is completely different. As we age across the continuum of life in our increasing singularity, we start to find the passions, careers, people, and interests that light our souls on fire, and thus, create a deeper meaning within ourselves and the world around us.

I offer the following advice as it pertains to my singular life, which is a culmination of the experiences that I have been through, the people that have affected my life on a deeper level, and the ways in which I have been able to process the interworking’s of these aspects as they have been conceived in my perception of reality. In my mind, there is not a separation of one idea or thought that leads to a meaningful and fulfilling life, but a culmination of thoughts, ideas, and concepts that build upon each other much like how compound interest works. The following list is what has been formulated in my life and I can say that I finally feel like I am in a place where I am living like I am going to die every single day.

Find Your Passion

Passion- it’s a buzz word that people love to use, yet so few truly emulate. What lights your soul on fire? What do you love to do so much that you would do it for free every day if you could? What can you not stop talking about to friends, family, and loved ones? What keeps you up at night and wakes you up early in the morning without even needing an alarm clock? These are the types of questions you should be asking yourself in the pursuit of your passion, and when you find it, go after it with reckless abandon EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY! Your passions are contained within you, but it is up to you to find them. Underneath those passions are your true gifts. I have seen this in my life and the life of others around me, and to illustrate this, I will use my story of how I got into photography.

When I was 20 years old, I was bored one night, so I decided to sit down, pick up a pencil, and sketch some characters from some of the comic books I had laying around. I had never taken an art class in my life, but I realized very quickly that I zoned out, focused, and lost myself in drawing these characters. This quickly grew to drawing 2 wall murals (I painted over my first one within 2 weeks and painted a new one), and within a week of my back surgery at 21, I painted my first canvas. Fast forward 9 years, and over 100 pieces of completed artwork later, and I picked up my first DSLR camera. When I started photography, I immediately noticed the intersect between the natural beauty of the world and artwork. Being able to properly capture the beauty of the world in the frame, editing and transforming an image into the artistic rendition that was true to me, and sharing my view of the world with the people around me fed back to my passion for art.

That was literally the genesis of my passion for art and photography that I would not have experienced had I not been open to the idea of trying a new hobby that I had no experience in and no reason to start in the first place. Trust your gut and instincts, push yourself to try as many things as possible until you find that passion, and then pursue that passion relentlessly until you develop a mastery at it, and it reveals the gifts that have been hidden within you. If you listen to your heart and soul it will be hard to fight the feeling of the passions that are underlet by the gifts that you have lying within you. Once you have that figured out, you can find your why.

Start With Why

Start with Why- this is a book written by Simon Sinek that changed my life forever. This is a business book written about why great companies do what they do, which is great in and of itself, but I find this to be most meaningful when applied to your life. WHY do you do what you do? One of my favorite quotes is “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how” by Frederick Nietzsche. This quote is absolutely amazing on so many levels. If you understand your why, then how and what you do are easily discernable. The other aspect of this quote that I love is that it ties back to passion as well. Passion has a way of pushing you to levels you never thought were possible, especially when shit hits the fan and does not go according to plan. In the pursuit of excellence or living the life that you want, you inevitably are going to experience setbacks. If you understand why you are doing something, then you can dig deep within yourself to push through the failures and setbacks of life in order to achieve the life you want to live.

I have been fortunate enough to have passions in my life for a long time. I did not formulate and harness these all together until I read Start with Why last year, coupled with a few other life altering experiences. I have always been pulled toward art, but I didn’t start listening to my heart and soul until I found nature as well. Once I started photography, I felt the intersect between art, photography, nature, and being able to harness my introverted, analytical, introspective side of my personality that I formerly saw as a weakness, into one of the greatest strengths I have in my life. Underletting all of this was my why: I live to inspire. Hands down, no questions asked, I was born and put on this earth to inspire the world around me. I can say this unequivocally without hesitation or debate. This is the exact reason I do not care what anyone thinks about the art I produce, the way I live my life, or the person that I am. If I was concerned with all the ancillary aspects of life that make you life in fear, question yourself or your abilities, hold you back from living your truest being, or fulfilling the life I am meant to live then I would not actually know my why. I do so many things every day in pursuit of fulfilling my why that take me out of my comfort zone, push me to my limits, and make me have to push past pain constantly. I fucking love it and wouldn’t want it any other way! I implore you to find your why and couple it with your passion and I guarantee you that your life will change as there will be no limits to the person that you can become on this earth.

Discover Your Purpose

Once you find your why you can find your purpose. Your purpose is what will truly change the world around you. They say if you want to change the world, then you need to change yourself first, and I couldn’t agree more. When the people around you see you living your purpose there is a cascade of inspiration that influences those around you to do the same. I can say for a fact that anytime I talk to people about photography, my soul burns on fire, I start talking with an enthusiasm and confidence that can’t be stifled, and my face lights up brighter than a Christmas tree. Everything I touch whether it’s photography, art, writing, or a plethora of other interests, always ties back to my why, which is to inspire the world around me. Through this, my purpose for living has been formed, and through that, the world around me is inspired. Purpose also gives you a deeper meaning for life which helps you go through all the hard times on the search of your destiny.

Conceptualize Your Meaning

Meaning is completely different to everyone. In the search of meaning, you must be able to tie your purpose, your why, and your passions together. It is through the culmination of these characteristics that you gain a deeper understanding of your life and you can connect your singular existence in life along with your experiences together in order to gain a deeper understanding of your meaning. Living a meaningful existence is ultimately what gives us the drive to keep living through our purpose to change the world around us. If you look at your own version of meaning and how it is conceptualized to your being, I guarantee you that it will be connected in some way, shape, or form to other human beings. We are creatures predicated upon connection and love, and without those being omnipresent in our lives, we tend to lose hope and meaning alike. Be completely honest with yourself and search for self-awareness pertaining to your life’s true meaning and it will unlock a deeper understanding of your experiences and how they all interrelate back to the life that you are living.

Understand That Life Is Suffering

As Jordan Peterson so aptly states in his book, 12 Rules for Life: An Anecdote for Chaos, life is suffering. There is absolutely no way around this. We are all going to get the shit kicked out of us in life through failure, rejection, pain, death, and ultimately, our own mortality. We cannot avoid this, and if the pursuit of our life is the avoidance of suffering, then are we even living? I went through a lot of change and rejection during my formative years in adolescence, as well as throughout my sales career. I have thoroughly enjoyed and learned to love failure, rejection, and change over the years. I have gained a deeper understanding of connecting meaning to failure, rejection, and death. On the other side of pain and suffering is joy, happiness, and beauty. I know this is a hard concept to fully grasp, but every struggle I have had in my life, whether that has been physical, mental, or emotional, has led to a deeper meaning and greater understanding of the events that have taken place. All of these events created gratitude and joy for the experiences I have been fortunate enough to go through.

A few years ago, I lost my uncle Mike. Our families were so inextricably tied together through the relationship he and my father had, that it intersected our entire lives. Mike and my dad always confided in each other for their life decisions, and when my uncle Mike ended up in Colorado, my dad did as well, which is what brought me to Colorado in the first place. My uncle Mike took me on my first hike to a 14,000-foot peak, instilled a love and passion for the outdoors in me, and altered the way I view the world in a lot of ways. When he passed, I had a tremendous sense of loss in me, but there was also an enormous level of passion that came solely through watching the way he lived his life and seeing the people he touched in so many ways. At his remembrance, my cousin pulled me aside and said, “my dad loved you so much, he just always hoped you would find the thing you truly loved to make you happy”. Within the next year I started my photography business, and my photography is continually an extension of my uncle Mike and the wonder of nature he showed me while he was on this earth. I cannot tell you how much beauty there is on the other side of death, other than it makes your memories so much stronger, more meaningful, and ultimately gives you an appreciation for that person you were blessed enough to have in your life. Death has such a negative connotation to it, and there are terrible tragedies that happen in life for that there are no explanations, but there is also a beauty in it that makes you appreciate the life you are still living. While the loss of people is never enjoyable, learning to appreciate having had those people in your life during the time they had on this earth, enjoying memories that will last a lifetime, and knowing that the interconnectivity of your moments together had a deeper meaning will help you create understanding in your own life.

Live Like You Were Dying

Discovering your passions, finding your why, figuring out your purpose, conceptualizing your meaning, and understanding that life is suffering all interconnect back to the question I started this discussion with- how would you live your life if you knew you were going to die? The biggest mistake I see people around me make every single day is the idea that “someday” exists. Procrastination and putting off the things that will make your life better or allow you to come closer to your truest sense of being is one of the most fatal mistakes you can make on this earth. Life is so short and has so many unexpected twists and turns that we have no idea are going to take place until it is too late. Pursue the interests that consume you, spend time with those you love, and do the things that light your soul on fire every day. Working a job, just to pay bills, save a little money, and die is not a life well lived. Living to work instead of working to live are two entirely different things. The former will make you question what kind of life you could be living; the latter will make you be grateful for and keep pushing the boundaries of the life you are living.

The best exercise I have found to live like you are dying is to imagine yourself at the end of your life looking back at the life you lived. What self-limiting beliefs held you back from pursing the goals and dreams you had laid out for yourself? What were the gifts that you had within yourself that you never shared with the world? What regrets are going to the grave with you that you no longer have the time to fix? One of the best quotes I have ever heard on this comes from the great motivational speaker Les Brown, which I could paraphrase, but it comes better directly from him:

“Imagine being on your death bed and standing around you is the ghost of the dreams, the ideas, the abilities, and the talents given to you by life. That you, for whatever reason, you never went after that dream, you never acted on those ideas, you never used those talents, you never used those gifts. And there they are standing beside your bed, looking at you with large, angry eyes, saying we came to you and only you could have given us life! And now, we must die with you FOREVER!”

And so, I implore you to sit down with yourself in a quiet space where you can conceptualize and be honest with yourself about your life. Then ask yourself, “Am I living my life to the truest sense of my being, potential, purpose, and meaning… or am I just living to die?” No matter how you live your life there is one underlying fact that is going to take hold: you are never going to make it out of this life alive, so you might as well try to live the most passionate, purposeful, and meaningful life that you can while you are on this earth. Or put in another way, you should live life like you are dying.

Cheers,

Jeremy Janus

How I Push Through Pain

October 12, 2018

Pain. We all go through it, whether it is physical, mental, or emotional. It is the aspect of life that can either make you or break you depending on how you let it affect you. Some of our greatest accomplishments and achievements in life come out of a place of excruciating pain. Pain can control your life if you let it, but if you learn to harness it, you can use it to your advantage.

This year has been particularly hard for me, especially as of late. When I was younger a year like this would have destroyed me. I would have spun out of control and into a deep depression that would have been tough to get out of. As I have gotten older and wiser though, I have learned how to manage my emotions to external events a lot better in my life. I have used several tools over the years to help keep my head down during my tough times to continue to grow and end up stronger on the other side of suffering. Simply put, I have learned how to push through pain. Here are some of the tools that have helped me during some of my tough times- I hope they can help you when you are struggling with difficulties in your life.

Environment

Your environment can make or break your success. It is conducive toward growth or destruction during good and bad times. Motivation, inspiration, and desire are all fleeting so setting up your environment with things that encourage these is tremendously helpful. My apartment is surrounded with paintings I have made, photographs I have taken, and pictures of the family and friends that mean the most to me in my life. This creates an environment that always keeps me motivated and driven because it gives me the reassurance everyday that my life is about creating and working hard for people other than myself. I buy books and keep them all around the house so that I am constantly reading and making myself better every day. I do not keep junk food in the house because the temptation to pig out and eat everything in sight would be too great (I am a foodie when I want to be). Have the self-awareness to know the things that motivate and inspire you and surround yourself with those things every single day.

Habits

We are a sum of tons of small habits that make up our everyday lives, both good and bad. The key in life is to replace disempowering habits with empowering habits. Habits help tremendously during times of pain. They are the equivalent of putting your mind and body into “autopilot” and just getting through things, sometimes without even realizing it. One habit can also trigger many other habits that can be beneficial. For example, the habit of exercising in the morning can lead to making smarter and healthier eating choices throughout the day. If you want an excellent resource on understanding habits and how they can change your life I highly recommend “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg.

Health and Exercise

Exercise is an excellent place to start when you are looking to displace pain. You can exert your energy, thoughts, and feelings in the form of exercise and it can help you push through the pain. The endorphins you get from working out can help make you feel better and fight off negative feelings as well. Exercising also leads to making healthier food choices which will provide you with more energy and will make you feel better. The combination of health and exercise can give you the power and energy to realize that you are a bad ass and you can power your way through anything that life throws at you.

Nature

Getting out in nature is one of the greatest places you can go to deal with pain. The quiet surroundings can give you a place to listen to your thoughts and learn how to deal with them. We are so connected to our everyday lives through phones, social media, and e-mail that nature provides solace in disconnecting from these everyday stressors. If you never provide yourself with a space to address your thoughts and feelings, then you will constantly be hiding from them and never address any of the issues that are causing you pain. Hiking also provides the added benefit of exercise and feel good endorphins that will help keep you in a positive mood as well.

Adjust Your Expectations and Reframe Your Perspective

Life very seldom goes the way that we picture it in our minds. We all have expectations in our lives for things to end up a certain way and when they do not we are let down and it can throw us in a state of depression and sadness. Sometimes the things that you wanted to happen can be the best things that never happened. When you learn to adjust your expectations to the aspects of your life that you cannot control your whole world changes. Learn to let go of the things in your life that did not go exactly as you planned and embrace the new path laid out before you. Be happy for the experiences you have been able to create and let go of what could have or should have been in your mind, your happiness will follow suit.

Friends and Family

I have always been blessed with keeping the most amazing people in my life. My friends and family are the absolute best on this earth and I would not have gotten through the most difficult times in my life without them. Friends and family can be biased so you do need to be mindful of that (which is why therapy can be good), but they can be your biggest advocates and idea generators during your times of pain. Surround yourself with them during your tough times, talk through your issues, and be grateful to have them in your life. They will be one of the greatest support systems through your pain that you can ever imagine.

Giving Back

Giving back is one of the best things you can do on this planet. The feeling that you get from giving back is hard to replicate anywhere else. When you can get outside of your own pain and see that others can be going through things that are 10 times worse than your situation, you can be grateful for what you are going through. Every time I go through struggles I love to give back to children’s hospitals through artwork. When I walk into the hospital and immediately see children and families going through treatments and dealing with the pains of life that I can only imagine, this always snaps me right back into reality to realize truly how blessed and fortunate I am.

Attitude of Gratitude

No matter how bad things get for you, you always have something that you can be grateful for. I say grace every single day because just living one more day on this earth is a blessing. Be grateful for the people in your life, the beautiful mind you have been blessed with, having a roof over your head, and even the problems that you have been blessed to deal with. This life is absolutely beautiful, and it is what you make of it. Realize truly how blessed you are and be grateful for the life you live, the bad times never last, but the good memories always will, and they can help push you through the tough times.

Reading and Writing

My therapist used to always say that in life you are growing, or you are shrinking. The easiest thing to do during difficult times is to shrink. Continue to expand and grow your mind and knowledge during your difficult times. There is always a book you can read in which someone has dealt with the issue you are going through. Gain the knowledge on how to deal with your pain so you can harness it in the future and you can help others during their hard times as well. Writing can help you get your thoughts and feelings out on paper and has the added benefit of allowing you to look back on your pain later on down the road. This can help you better deal with it in the future when it comes up again.

Motivational Videos

As I mentioned before, motivation is fleeting. Motivational videos are everywhere on YouTube and some of the most successful people on this earth have shared their pain on how they pushed through it to get where they are in life. Use this free knowledge to better address your issues and pull yourself out of your pain and suffering. Who knows, one day you may even be able to make a motivational video that can help someone else that is going through the same issues.

Artistic Releases

Art has always been a form of therapy for me. Whether it is writing, painting, drawing, or doing photography, art always has a way of bringing me to a place that no where else can. Some of my greatest artwork has been produced from my greatest pain. Art is a wonderful release and it can help soothe your pain like nothing else can. Do not be afraid to try art just because you may think you are not good at it. I didn’t start drawing until I was 20 years old and I did it because I was bored. I started painting at 21 without any previous experience because it looked cool. I did not start photography until I was 30 years old with no previous knowledge of it as well. Push yourself to find an artistic outlet for yourself and you will be forever grateful of the healing effects of art.

Therapy

There is a reason I put this last. I did not start therapy until I was 27. Up until that point I suffered through anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts for the 10 years prior. I took anti-depressants to help me get through my tough times, but I never addressed any of the issues that were actually ailing me. Going to therapy was single handedly the best decision I ever made because it helped me to address the issues that I had been dealing with through all those years of pain and suffering and it gave me the tools to deal with pain going forward. We all have deep seeded issues that we have not addressed in our lives. Do not let them control your life now or in the future- go address them and see how your life changes as a result.

These are some of the tools that I have implemented in my life to overcome pain when I am going through it. They are not perfect and believe me, even if you know how to deal with pain, it can still get the better of you some days. I have struggled more recently than I ever have with it, but I know that if I stay true the pain will not get the better of me or last forever.

All these tools in dealing with pain tie back to the most important piece in all of this- the most valuable asset that you have on this earth is TIME. You cannot buy it, get it back, or create more of it. Once it is gone, it is gone for good. If you sit and wallow in your pain and suffering, then all you are doing is stealing the precious commodity of time from your life. We all go through shit and life is not fair to any of us. I have had my fair share of ups and downs in life and the one thing that has helped me through all of it is that our experiences are what build our character, perspective, and love or hate of life. I am always grateful that things have happened in my life, even if they are not ideal, and instead of looking at the loss of something, I have looked at what I have gained from every situation in my life. Take control of your life and learn to push through your pain and suffering. I do not want to see anyone suffer in life, but at the very least, hopefully some of my insights can help you push through your pain, as I have learned how to push through mine.

Cheers,

Jeremy Janus

Keys to Living My Happiest Life

June 15, 2018

I have a deep seated love for people, I always have. I am very blessed and fortunate to travel quite a bit for personal and business reasons and I am able to meet a lot of great people along the way. One of the things that breaks my heart in my travels is the amount of people that are truly not happy with the way they are living their life. I have a huge amount of empathy for this because this used to be me as well. I hate seeing people suffer more than anything on this earth and it bothers me to my core. The silver lining that I see in so many people is that the key to their happiness is already there- it is within themselves. The saddest thought in the world to me is a person making it into the last stages of their life and instead of celebrating a life well lived, they look back and all they see is regret. Or worse than that, they take their life because they cannot fight their inner demons anymore which unfortunately has been much too common as of late.

I battled through anxiety and depression for years. Both of these challenges can be soul crushing, life crippling, and dangerous to your life and health when battled over long periods of time. I was fortunate enough to go through my own hell on earth and be able to turn my life around in order to better help those around me. My goal for compiling this list of tools that I have used to fight anxiety and depression to live my fullest life is not to tell you how to live your life- it is to give you an insight into what has worked for me and hopefully you can apply a few of these to your life as well. We will still always battle both of these aspects of life over the long haul but the key is to manage our bouts of anxiety and depression and not let it rule our lives.

Get Out Of The Victim Mentality

Horrible shit happens to us all. We all go through hard times, struggles, and failures. Some people's stories and injustices are far greater than what any of us can comprehend. But some of the most successful people that I know on this earth have gone through the worst shit and have become far greater because of it. The story you tell yourself is much more important than the things you have gone through. You have the choice to tell yourself that your life sucks because you have had horrible things happen to you or you can tell yourself that you are so much stronger because of the things that have happened to you and made you who you are. Change the way you look at things and watch the world around you change.

Embrace Failure, Change, and Struggle

Without struggle and failure, we will never become all that we can be. Failure is one of the most beautiful aspects of life. It shows you what you are made of, how resilient you can be, and allows you to grow like nothing else on this earth. I have learned to love and embrace failure and change and it has launched the trajectory of my life in a completely different direction. Look at failure as life's ultimate teacher, put your ego aside, and reflect on how you can grow and do things different. Keep trying new things, keep failing, and watch your perspective on life change for the better.

Positivity

Have you ever been around someone so negative that you literally thought the sky was going to fall down on their head right in front of you? It is human nature to focus on the negative because it is around us every day with the news, work, family, and friends. However, all of the positive aspects of life are all around you every single day as well. If you are living, breathing, have a place to live, a car to get to and from places, and the love of people in your life you are doing 99% better than the rest of the people in the world. Like attracts like- if you walk around everyday thinking that life sucks, then that is exactly what you are going to attract. Life is a beautiful thing if you look at it through the right lens. Live life with an attitude of gratitude and you will become grateful for all the small things in life which all add up to an abundance that you never realized.

Stop Worrying About Uncontrollable Aspects of Life

There are a lot of aspects in life we cannot control and this drives a lot of people crazy. You cannot control everything and the more you think you can, the more you will be disappointed with life. Every day you can control your attitude, the way you treat people, what you focus on, and the direction you push your life toward. Focus on those things and let other things fall where they may. You cannot control people, the way they treat you, or any of the injustices of life that may happen to you. Be fluid with life and understand that things you can't control will come your way, how you react to those things is what really matters.

Nature

Nature has single handedly changed my life. I did not discover the power and ability of life changes that nature has until I moved to Colorado. Nature has a way of healing, changing your perspective, and altering your life in a way that nothing else can. I went on a soul-searching journey for my 30th birthday a few years ago and my life has never been the same. Lose yourself in nature, connect to the world around you, and learn to appreciate the beauty that exists all around you in this world.

Disconnecting

Technology can be a great tool that we can use to simplify our lives, improve certain aspects of it, and continue to push humans forward to the next level. However, technology can also be addictive, become a hindrance, and keep us from human interaction. Every week take time away from your phone whether that is going outside, reading, or just not having your phone on you for a few hours if possible. Who knows, you may have an engaging conversation with someone you never would have that could change your life for the better.

Spirituality/ Religion

Religion and spirituality are completely different for everyone. I am not telling you what to believe- my beliefs have changed so much since I was a kid but I do know that in my adult life I have felt completely connected to a higher power in this world that I never felt as a younger child. This has governed so much of my life and has given me and others around me a positive change that I wish I discovered at a younger age. I know that I would not be on this earth anymore had I not had angels and God watching me through my darkest times, and I implore you to figure out your deep thoughts on this subject as it will definitely help you through the tough times to have faith that there is something out there that is greater than us all.

Find Your Passions

We all have gifts that have been bestowed upon us. Often in life, these are manifested through different passions that you may have. I am blessed to have a ton of passions that I am able to pursue and develop in my life and I try to pursue those through my work and hobbies. Find your passions and your whole life will change. They make you excited to wake up in the morning, continue to develop yourself, and inspire people around you to do the same. Keep constantly trying new things to find your passions and when you find them keep pushing yourself to develop them. Passion also has a way giving you an extra source of energy through the hard times- sometimes I have no idea how I burn through so many hard times but I look back and realize that is usually passion that helped push me through.

Creative Outlets and White Space

One of the huge releases that I have found in my life is artwork, painting, and photography. This has always been my place of white space- my place where I can lose myself consciously and go to a deeper place of thinking. Art has always been therapeutic to me and in its own right it has healed me in so many ways. It has a way of creating deeper thinking, healing the heart and soul, and has the beautiful byproduct of creating works of art in the end. My artwork and photography has never been about the actual artwork- it's about the journey, the creation, and being able to inspire others through the beauty of God and the gifts we have received on this planet.

Reading and Learning

My therapist had a lot of good sayings, but my favorite one was in regards to life: "You are either growing or you're shrinking". Growth can feel very uncomfortable for people, it requires change, challenges, and stretching of your abilities, which is why a lot of people shy away from it. But on the other side of struggle is growth. Reading is one of the best ways that I have found to constantly push my boundaries, learn about subjects I may not have been exposed to otherwise, and connect with others on a different level. Some people do not enjoy reading which makes audio books and YouTube videos a very good place for people to gain education for growth as well. Continue to push yourself and your brain everyday and you will make yourself into someone that is more knowledgeable, valuable, and a person of interest.

Be Yourself

We are so consumed with what other people think about how we look, what we have, and our external success. Instagram and facebook have made us look at others through rose colored glasses even though most people only tend to post on positive experiences and not negative ones because of the image they are trying to portray. Focus on yourself, the things that drive you and make you happy, and the goals that you have for your life. External success will manifest itself from internal focus because you are doing the things you are passionate about and love to do while creating an environment for you to thrive. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks because they don't have to live in your head the rest of your life, you do. Keep being you, doing you, and learn to love yourself along the way.

Morning Routine

Create a morning routine and try to stick to it as often as possible. Whether this is working out, praying, meditating, or reading these can all help you prepare to take on the day. Try not to be on social media, watch TV, or do anything mind numbing in the morning. This is the best time of the day to set your goals for the day, focus on what you want to accomplish, and gives you time to yourself to prepare for any stresses that will come your way throughout the day.

Time Management

This has become instrumental in my life as an adult. This does not have to be a rigid structure of minute by minute activities and I always plan move around time to accommodate for unexpected events. But having a plan and a schedule every day allows you to allot your time to the people, events, and responsibilities in your life and frees you up to spend time on the things you love doing. This also tends to relieve anxiety due to running around like a crazy person unfocused and never accomplishing anything because you have to worry about everything.

Working Out and Eating Right

You only have one body on this earth. You can either run hard and fast and burn yourself into the ground or you can take care of your mind, body, and soul. Working out whether that's running, walking, going to the gym, or hiking is good for you. You need to get your heart and body pumping everyday and make it a focus in your life. When you eat like shit, you feel like shit, plain and simple. Eat the right foods to fuel your body and mind and you will feel tremendously better every single day. The other effect of this is that you will also look better when you trade the Oreos and chips for salads and carrots. When you look good, you feel good, and when you feel good, you tend to make healthier, better choices on a consistent basis.

Surround Yourself With The Right People

Family and friends can be extremely beneficial in accomplishing your goals and dreams while living a beautiful life. They can also be a source of pain, suffering, and shame if you are not cognizant of the toxic ones. Surround yourself with good human beings that are loving, caring, knowledgeable, and don't tell you that you can't do something. It is really true that the 5 people closest to you is who you become. I have been blessed to have the most amazing family and friends and my inner circle challenges me constantly, inspires me, and helps me to continue to grow personally and professionally.

Giving Back

One of my favorite joys and sources of fulfillment on this earth is giving back. I have been donating my artwork to children's hospitals across the southwest United States for over 5 years now. This has created empathy, compassion, and love like nothing else in my life. Every time I walk into a hospital I inevitably see a child affected by an ailment of some sort that will create difficulties for the rest of their life. Nothing has a better way of putting your problems in perspective than seeing a child that may not even be able to reach your age because of a condition they are not able to control. Get out of your world and put yourself in someone else's that is suffering, all of a sudden your problems won't seem as bad as you think after all. Give back to those less fortunate around you, the world needs the good people to continue spreading love, joy, and happiness to those that struggle to see that side of life every day.

Therapy

This is my favorite piece of advice and the one that has changed my life. I did not start therapy until I was 27 and my only regret is that I hadn't started it sooner. We are so afraid of what we don't know and when you are young this is especially true because most people don't want to get to know themselves. Therapy starts the process of self discovery and when you know yourself your whole world changes. Make sure you find the right therapist for you though. I was blessed enough to find the greatest therapist in the world for me my first time and he challenged me so much over the years that I became someone different entirely. Therapy can be very expensive so if you're going to do it go into it hiding nothing and being open about everything. I paid out of pocket twice a month for 2 years and to this day it is hands down the best investment I have ever made in my life.

Medicine

This is a tough one and my view on this has changed a lot over the years but when I first went through depression I did not know how to handle it. I started out on one anti-depressant and it shot me into a world of hell that actually made my depression worse. It wasn't until I had a brush with suicide contemplation that I snapped out of my shit and realized I needed help. I switched anti-depressants after having a talk with my doctor and it helped me turn my life around and go into the right direction until I was ready and mature enough to address my issues with therapy. If you go this route please make sure you are completely open with your doctor and yourself about your thoughts, feelings, and if you are going through worse depression. Also, make sure you have a good doctor that believes you and will trust you. I went through hell when my doctor asked about my suicidal thoughts and he made me second guess myself as an 18 year old kid that did not even know how to handle the shit I was going through. If you get a doctor like that, run the other way. People like that have no business dealing with medicine that can make someone's life worse and possibly change the outcome of whether you are here on this earth or not.

Openness

I spent most of my younger years holding everything inside. I never shared my true thoughts and feelings with anyone and I know now why I had so much anxiety and depression in hindsight. If you hold everything in it's like blowing up a balloon- eventually you're going to explode. My explosion would manifest itself as physical tremors and shakes because I could not control it anymore. The most gratifying aspect of opening up to people is that you realize most people are just like you, everyone has their problems and struggles, most people are just afraid to share them openly. And if you are on the other side of someone talking about their issues, just listen, or try to offer helpful advice if you can. Don't tear people down or make them second guess themselves sharing their deepest thoughts and feelings. If we were more open to talk about tough conversations the world everywhere would change.

These are some of the fundamental tools that I have implemented in my life and they have drastically changed my perspective. I still deal with my moments of stress, anxiety, and sadness but I do not stay in that space and dwell like I used to. Life is so short and the second you truly believe that in your heart and soul you realize that it is not worth spending your time in that space. Love yourself, your life and everyone else in it. This life is beautiful if you let it be. It took me years to overcome my struggles with depression and anxiety but now that I have come to a better place I will do my best in life to help change the lives around me and make this world a better place. If you have come to that space please help those around you as well. People can always use an ear, especially in this day and age, and it is up to you to make this world a better place as well. You only have one life to live, make it wonderful, beautiful, and a place of love for others to be inspired from as well.

If you are struggling with anxiety and depression please check out this link for resources:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1-800-273-8255

Cheers,

Jeremy Janus

My Tony Robbins Experience and How it Changed My Life

March 26, 2018

For those of you who do not know who Tony Robbins is, you should. Tony is a life coach and life strategist, business man, and entrepreneur. He is the definition of a human being living life on their terms and the impact that he has had on millions of people around the world cannot be understated.

I first found Tony Robbins about a year and a half ago when I moved back to Denver, Colorado after watching his Nexflix special "Tony Robbins: I Am Not Your Guru". This special changed my life when I was able to see the impact he had on people instantaneously and the massive shift you saw within them after years of suffering with their issues. I have always been a very emotionally empathetic person and this brought me to tears many times watching this- if you have not seen it yet I highly recommend it.

Tony Robbins was extremely impactful for me because of the stage I was at in life. I had actually spent years working on self-help and self improvement because of where I had come from emotionally in life. I had just moved back from California after leaving a job I was no longer happy in and living a life that no longer suited me. I would say that it was divine intervention that I found Tony Robbins when I did.

I went through years of depression, anti-depressants, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and finally when I was mature enough and broken enough to accept it, I made the leap to go through therapy. This all happened over a span of about 12 years and I would not change a day of it. Through that journey I learned the power of prayer and faith, the strength of friends and family, and the amazing power of self care. I read tons of books and always wanted to make myself better from a young age but I did not find the power of self-help and psychology until I was closer to my 30's. Mental health is one of my most valued aspects of life and it means so much to me because through all of my struggles and pain I have been able to see the beauty of suffering by being able to help so many friends and family deal with their struggles. I wish the stigma of mental health would go away so that people could become the best version of themselves. Why are we so quick to run to help someone with a broken arm but so quick to run in the opposite direction when someone is dealing with a mental health issue?

All the years I spent trying to make myself better and finally feeling that I was in a place to help others made me seek out this journey to see Tony Robbins. I knew that after reading so many of his books, listening to CD's, and watching YouTube videos that I would regret it my entire life if I never went to see him speak live. And so, as I was sitting in the Las Vegas Airport on a layover near Christmas, I found Tony was doing an "Unleash The Power Within" event in San Jose, California in March. I knew it would be over committing myself financially with Christmas at that time of the year but I did not care, I committed to it and bought the ticket- and it was one of the best decisions I have made in my adult life.

The Tony Robbins event took place from March 15-18th and I will never forget watching him the moment he stepped on the stage. I am a passionate man; Tony Robbins is a PASSIONATE and ENERGETIC man. I have never seen someone with so much enthusiasm for life and helping others than Tony Robbins. The electricity he brings to the stage is unbelievable. Attending a UPW event is kind of like attending an electronic dance music concert with the music that is intermittently spread over the seminar. Throughout the entire seminar there is jumping, dancing, back rubs, sticking your finger in your nose (I know, it's a long story), and releasing your inner child. Tony Robbins completely and effectively uses the technique of putting your body in a peak state in order to change your psychology and it works beautifully. I freely admit this was a difficult part of the seminar for me as I get pumped up about things but on my own time and terms so this took some getting used to. However, the laughter, happiness, introspection, crying, and life changing moments are completely worth it.

The first day was great but if you go to a Tony Robbins seminar be ready for a marathon. We were supposed to go from noon-8pm but ended up going from noon-1130pm and that did not include the fire walk that took place after or the hours of sitting prior to have a good seat. I did not partake in the fire walk because as a friend pointed out, if I got a blister on my foot I would not be able to hike for a while and let's be honest, that's one of the most important aspects of my life.

Tony Robbins has been doing this for a long time, and as such his vocal chords have finally been catching up to him. His body has physiologically found a way for him to speak even though the physical form of his vocal chords should be prohibiting this. He unfortunately had to miss the second day and due to his absence, I also decided that I would miss the second day. Although I could have let myself be bummed out I decided not to be and took some time exploring nature in northern California. I saw the most amazing sunset in San Francisco and had my passion for photography oozing out of me the entire time. I knew that night I was right where I was meant to be and that doing photography was the gift that God has blessed me with.

The third day was where the true magic happens. Tony calls this transformation day and I can say without a doubt, there is no better name for this day. He gets you to dig deep within your soul and find the self limiting beliefs that you have within yourself and find the ways in which they are holding you back from achieving the life that you want. Then he gets you to destroy those thoughts and build self-empowering thoughts to replace them with and allows you to take your life in a new direction. Prior to this moment at the seminar, I was not all too emotional. During this exercise, I started balling like I was watching "Beauty and the Beast" (or whatever makes you cry uncontrollably). This was extremely moving, powerful, and effective. I have never had anything that changed my life in an instant like this.

I will be completely honest about one of my self-limiting beliefs that I held- that I was not good enough to be a great photographer to make a name for myself and have a successful business. I have never taken an art or photography class, have no formal education in photography, and just started with a DSLR a year and a half ago- all aspects that fed into my BS belief that I could not be a great photographer. Tony got me to see all the things that I had held myself back from so far with this self-limiting belief and the ramifications of this were uncanny. I literally stopped trying to truly push myself further in photography because I did not believe in my mind that I could grow to the next level. He also made us look 5, 10, 20, and 30 years into the future and see where our lives were as a result of our beliefs- there are few things in life that can evoke change like looking at your life 30 years from now and realizing you wasted your life not living the way you wanted to. I will say, to this day, this was the most spiritual moment of my entire life. I won't share much beyond that I truly felt a spiritual connection to God and I knew I was truly blessed to have this beautiful gift of photography, and it is my duty to share it with the world and inspire others through it. This day single handedly changed my life forever.

The fourth day I also decided not to stay because I was not sure how much speaking Tony would do again as he spoke a ton on Saturday. I also had family in Northern California that weekend and as everyone close to me knows, friends and family are the most important aspect of my life. That being said, this seminar was the best investment I could have ever made in myself. The ticket for the 3 1/2 days was about $1,000 and with travel, hotel, etc. it was all in about $2,000... and worth every single penny of it. What is self-care and self-help worth? More than I could ever tell you- besides this was a hell of a lot more fun than spending 2K on bar tabs for a bunch of nights I would never remember anyway.

Tony Robbins is truly a gift to this planet. He lives to serve and you fully see that in his seminars. His talks are hilarious, engaging, life changing, and informative. That being said- he is not your guru. He is a life strategist and knows human behaviors and patterns that lead to a more fulfilled life. He is not a therapist or a way out of getting help if you truly need it- do not ever be ashamed to get professional help and get your life in the direction you want it to go. I truly believe my experience at "Unleash The Power Within" was exponentially greater because of all the deep, dark moments that I have lived and made it through. The therapy I have gone through allowed me to relate to so many patterns and destructive behavior he spoke about and to know that I will never go back to that place. Tony is the most amazing motivational speaker I have ever witnessed and I would have paid ten times what I did to have experienced this event again. However, motivation is fleeting and if you don't set yourself up with great habits everyday to live your happiest and most fulfilled life, it doesn't matter what "guru" you go to, you will not find your happiness. Look intrinsically at your behavior patterns everyday and see if they are empowering or destructive, only then can you set up your life to make it everything you dreamed of. Tony Robbins can help you find all of those things, but he won't be by your side every single day, you have to put in the work to truly live your fullest life.

I highly recommend this event to anyone looking to improve their life through total immersion. Books, videos, and audio are fantastic and I listen to them every day to improve myself, but they are not a substitute for being completely engaged in a weekend full of people with similar motivations to become the best version of themselves, taught by one of the most passionate people on this earth that wants to help end suffering for humanity. Do yourself a favor and go see Tony Robbins in person if you can, your psychology and life you live after the fact will thank you more than I could ever express. Love your life with passion and watch the world around you change.

Cheers,

Jeremy Janus

Why I Shoot Nature Photography

January 24, 2018

We all have our reasons for getting into artistic outlets. Be it photography, music, or art; these crafts truly stimulate the mind, body, and soul like nothing else on this planet has the ability to do. The creativity, joy, passion, and inspiration that the arts bring cannot always be put into words.

I started my artistic endeavors back in my early 20's when I got bored and started painting my childhood idol: Batman (just for the record, he is my adulthood idol as well). Painting in acrylics can be daunting due to the quick drying and tough blending of colors but the results can be uncanny and extremely satisfying. The last decade of constantly pushing and improving my painting and drawing skills ultimately led me to find a passion in another artistic realm: photography.

I did not truly start hiking until I moved to Colorado at 18 years old. My late uncle Mike and my dad took my siblings and I on hikes all around Colorado and I fell in love instantly. Those early days of hiking instilled a love and passion for the outdoors that I have never been able to shake, nor have I wanted to.

I spent the last 14 years moving between California and Colorado (7 times to be exact) and as such, I have been able to hike all around the southwest United States. I have seen so many beautiful places and met so many amazing people along the way. What started out as hiking and posting pictures to social sites quickly became a lot of my friends reaching out asking about hikes and telling me that my pictures were halfway decent.

About a year and a half ago I moved back to Colorado and had the opportunity to do a lot of travel and so two of my best friends gave me the best advice I had ever received. I was contemplating whether to buy a DSLR or just stick with my camera phone and continue taking photos on that. I cannot tell you the exact words but they said something like "We're not telling you to buy a camera, but you need to buy a camera". I cannot even fathom how different my life would be had they not talked me into biting the bullet and making the switch to a DSLR.

The greatest aspect of nature photography to me is that it encompasses all of the most important aspects of my life: nature, wildlife, photography, spirituality, artistic freedom, and white space to disconnect from the stresses of everyday life. The way in which I view the world because of nature photography has changed everything- I see shadows, lights, and colors in a way that I never did before (which the acrylic painting has also helped). I can size up an image in my head and visualize the finished product before I even take the picture, let alone upload it on my computer for editing. Nature photography has fed my love for nature and my love for photography- they are so intersected in my life now that I cannot take one without the other.

The community that I have been able to be a part of as a result of nature photography has been tremendous. I have a couple of great friends that have helped me more than I could ever express in photography- ideas, concepts, technical knowledge, and ways to continually push photography have always been a part of the conversations we have had and continue to have. I have been fortunate enough to be able to contribute to Shutterstock.com, Adobe, Fotolia, and Pond5 stock photography in the last few months and have been able to sell photos in 10 different countries and all over the United States. I am a part of multiple other photography communities in which the artists are constantly producing amazing nature photos that only inspire and push me to constantly hone my craft. I have also had the opportunity to help photographers along the way that I have met in nature and have had some amazing conversations sharing ideas.

Whatever type of photography you decide to do make sure you do it with one thing in mind: passion. I remember when I first started nature photography I had a lot of people say not to do it because there are too many nature photographers. I never listened to that advice and neither should you. Do whatever photography you are passionate about and success will come. Passion pushes you through the tough times and gives you motivation when you are struggling. People love to see the end result of photography but they do not see the waking up at 3AM to catch a sunrise hike, driving 4 hours to go to the perfect location, hiking 15 grueling miles to get a beautiful shot, or all of the time, energy, and frustration that comes with trying to edit the perfect photos for hours at a time. The main driving force that pushes you through all those trials and tribulations is passion.

Keep pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone and new opportunities will arise. I hope you give nature photography a try and see if it takes you on a ride like it did me. And if you hate it, then don't do it! But find something you are passionate about and develop it, the world around you will only become a better place! What type of photography or art do you enjoy doing? Feel free to leave a comment below and share your passions, who knows, one day you may find yourself writing a blog you never thought you would...

Cheers,

Jeremy Janus